As leaders, we desire to be fully present where God has placed us — present for our families, present in the ministries we love and serve, and present in the work we have been entrusted to lead.

Yet most of us are already operating at or beyond capacity. Opportunities come at us daily, often with urgency attached. While many are genuinely good, not all are ours to carry.

One of the most powerful disciplines we can develop is learning how to choose our yes wisely.

When the Right Opportunity Arrives at the Wrong Time

Two years ago, I was invited to speak at a women’s event out of state — exactly the kind of opportunity I would normally jump at. But it fell directly during family plans made well in advance, centered around the people who matter most to me, including my grandchildren. There was no real debate. I would not miss that time.

Still, the voices came. Well-meaning friends and colleagues urged me to rearrange the family plans. “This is too good to pass up.” The pressure was real.

But I took it to prayer, talked it through with my closest and most trusted circle, and the answer became clear. I respectfully declined.

That family time became something far more than a weekend on a calendar. Those days turned into some of the most precious, irreplaceable memories our family now holds — moments with my grandchildren I will treasure for the rest of my life. God knew what I needed to say yes to, even before I fully did.

But the story doesn’t end there. I later learned that the speaker who filled my place had been privately praying for that exact opportunity for months. God had already chosen her for that assignment. My no was never really about me at all — it was making room for her yes. I needed to step aside so she could step in.

The Weight of an Unguarded Yes

Every yes costs something. When we say yes to something outside our calling — or outside of God’s timing — we may be stepping into an assignment meant for someone else, compromising our own effectiveness, and preventing the very organization we are trying to serve from receiving the right person at the right time.

A yes driven by guilt or fear of missing out is rarely a yes given in faith. Cheryl Simmons

A Framework for Discernment

Before responding to your next significant opportunity, ask yourself:

Key Takeaways

• Build margin before you respond — resist the immediate answer
• Pray first, not last — bring every opportunity before God
• Protect what God has already given you; your family is not an obstacle to your calling — it often is your calling
• Trust that a well-discerned “no” is an act of faith, not a missed opportunity
• Remember — your no may be the very thing that opens the door for someone else’s yes
• When you decline, do so with grace and leave the door open

When our yes is rooted in God’s direction rather than others’ expectations, it carries purpose, clarity, and lasting fruit.

Choose wisely.

Cheryl Simmons Cheryl Simmons is the Director of Development & Events, CEF of Virginia; Co-Founder, Global Collaborative Solutions; Presidential Advisory Council, Event Chair, Virginia Christian Chamber. Contact her at cheryl.simmons@cefva.com or 757-735-5525.