One day my daughter, Giavanna, and I decided to take a walk along the beach. I had put sunscreen on before we left, but once we got onto the sand, Giavanna realized she hadn’t.

As we made our way toward the water, she suddenly stopped. A woman nearby was setting up her beach area for the day, and before I realized what was happening, Giavanna walked over to a complete stranger and asked if she could use some of her sunscreen.

I stood there watching in awe.

The woman happily obliged. Giavanna covered herself in sunscreen, handed the bottle back, politely thanked her, and continued toward the water as though what had just happened was perfectly normal.

I, however, had questions.

Giavanna looked at me as though the answer were obvious and said, “I’d rather ask than get skin cancer.”

Without even thinking, I responded, “I would rather burn than ask.”

That conversation stayed with me for weeks.

The Absurdity of My Own Answer

Think about the absurdity of my statement. Giavanna had a need, made it known, received what she needed, thanked the person who helped her, and walked peacefully toward the water. Had I been in her situation, I would have quietly walked toward that same water, knowing full well I was going to fry. I would have endured the sunburn, the pain, the inconvenience, when the solution was one simple ask away.

How often do we do exactly that as leaders?

We carry burdens privately that were never intended to be carried alone. We hesitate to delegate. We don’t tell people what we need. We don’t ask for the introduction, the advice, the resources or the help. Sometimes we even convince ourselves that carrying everything ourselves is a sign of strength.

Ask. Seek. Knock.

Jesus gives us a very different picture in Matthew 7:7: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Ask. Seek. Knock. But here’s what is striking about all three words: they require us to do something.

Jesus identifies the need and then instructs His disciples to ask the Father to meet it. He doesn’t tell them to quietly carry the weight of the entire harvest themselves. Krystal Parker

Recently, I noticed that same instruction hiding beside another Scripture I have quoted countless times. In Matthew 9:37, Jesus tells His disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few.” We know that verse. But somehow I missed the instruction that comes immediately afterward: “Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” — Matthew 9:38

There it is again. Ask.

Where to Start

• Start by taking the need to your Father — ask Him, seek His wisdom
• Listen for the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and be willing to act on what He shows you
• Ask an employee to take ownership of a project consuming your time
• Ask a mentor for advice, a colleague for an introduction, or a spouse for support
• Simply let someone know you cannot do everything yourself

The answer won’t always be yes. The door you knock on won’t always open. But there is a significant difference between a door God has closed and a door we never knocked on because we were too afraid to ask.

I learned that lesson walking down a beach with my daughter. She asked, received what she needed, and walked peacefully toward the water.

I would have burned.

So perhaps the question for all of us is much simpler than we make it: what are you enduring because you haven’t asked?

Ask. Seek. Knock. Nothing is off the table. Not even sunscreen.

Krystal Parker Krystal Parker is President & Founder of the U.S. Christian Chamber of Commerce, author of The Christian CEO, and a nationally recognized speaker and professor. A former executive for a Fortune 200 publicly traded oil and gas company, she has over 25 years of experience in organizational management, leading hundreds of employees to provide J.D. Power award-winning customer service to more than 2.1 million customers across the U.S. A former college dropout, Parker advanced her education at Harvard Business School for senior executive leaders focusing on innovation, globalization, and leadership diversity. She earned an undergraduate degree in psychology and a master’s in marketing. As a certified DISC behavioral specialist, trainer, speaker, and coach, Parker opened a boutique consulting company, Intent & Impact, to help companies increase profit, reduce turnover, and enhance employee engagement. A best-selling author and professor, Krystal teaches graduate and undergraduate-level courses. She is a member of the MVI Board of Directors and the Central Florida Christian Chamber Board of Directors. Krystal considers herself a marketplace missionary with a strategic focus on citywide transformation, committed to seeing faith in action in the marketplace — believing that to reach the world, you must reach the city. Krystal is a wife and mother, and devoted follower of Jesus Christ.

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