There is something deeply troubling about a society that places women on a pedestal as mothers, daughters, sisters and wives, yet often struggles to treat them as equals. We praise their sacrifices, celebrate their patience and admire their strength, but when they demand equal rights, equal status, an equal voice and dignity, their demands are too often met with resistance.

For millions of women in Pakistan, the struggle for equality does not begin in parliament, the courts or the streets. It begins at home, behind closed doors, where their opinions may carry less weight, their choices are questioned and their sacrifices are taken for granted.

This is the harsh truth about patriarchy. It doesn’t always show itself through blatant hostility or violence. Often, it sneaks into our daily lives, reflected in decisions made without involving women, in the expectation that they should always be the ones to compromise, and in the belief that upholding family honor rests solely on their shoulders.

The recent controversy sparked by Captain (R) Muhammad Safdar’s remarks has once again brought to light the attitudes women continue to face. At a religious gathering in Chiniot, Safdar criticized the slogan Mera Jism, Meri Marzi, questioning why women who take control of their bodies still seek prayers from religious scholars when dealing with serious illnesses like cancer.

Such remarks deserve unequivocal condemnation. Cancer is a devastating disease that brings suffering not only to patients but also to their families. To use that suffering as an argument against women’s bodily autonomy is insensitive and deeply unfair. No woman should be ridiculed for her illness, her beliefs or her demand to be treated with dignity.

There is no contradiction between faith and personal freedom. A woman can believe in God, seek prayers during illness and still insist on her right to make decisions about her own body and life. Asking for prayers does not mean surrendering one’s dignity or independence. Faith should inspire compassion, not become an excuse to question someone’s rights.

Punjab Chief Minister Maryam Nawaz Sharif responded to the controversy with an emotional message that spoke to a much larger reality.

Her words touched upon something that many women experience but rarely discuss openly.

Behind the appearance of a happy family, a successful marriage or a respectable household, there may be a woman struggling with emotional pain, humiliation, loneliness or the constant pressure to remain silent for the sake of others.

What makes this reality particularly painful is that society often expects women to accept such suffering as part of their responsibilities. A woman who remains silent is praised for her patience. A woman who questions unfair treatment may be accused of disturbing family harmony. A woman who demands respect is sometimes portrayed as rebellious, even when she is asking for nothing more than the dignity every human being deserves.

A marriage built on mutual understanding, shared responsibility and equal dignity is far stronger than one sustained by fear, silence or unquestioned authority.

Women are not fighting against men. They are fighting against a mindset that treats them as secondary citizens in their own homes and communities. They want their contributions recognised, their opinions respected and their choices valued. They want equal weight in decisions that shape their lives and futures.

These are not unreasonable demands. They are the foundations of a just society.

The controversy surrounding Safdar’s remarks also extended to his reported comments about the late human rights lawyer Asma Jahangir. The Pakistan Bar Council and the Supreme Court Bar Association strongly condemned the disparaging language used against her, highlighting the importance of dignity, tolerance and respect in public discourse.

Asma Jahangir devoted much of her life to defending human rights, constitutional freedoms and those who lacked the influence to protect themselves. People may agree or disagree with her positions, as they are entitled to do, but personal attacks on a deceased woman, particularly those invoking her religious identity, have no place in a respectful society.

The condemnation by the lawyers’ bodies was an important reminder that disagreement must never become an excuse for humiliation, character assassination or intolerance.

There is a wider lesson here. Women who challenge established attitudes are frequently subjected to criticism that goes beyond their ideas and targets their character, personal lives or beliefs. This discourages others from speaking out and reinforces the very inequalities that society claims to oppose.

Pakistan has produced extraordinary women who have demonstrated leadership in politics, law, education, medicine, journalism, business and civil society. Yet the achievements of a few prominent women should not blind us to the struggles of countless others.

A woman working in a factory, teaching in a school, managing a household or raising children deserves the same respect as a woman holding public office. Her dignity should not depend on her social position, wealth, education or family background.

The struggle is particularly difficult for women who are economically dependent on others. Many endure unfair treatment because they fear losing financial security, family support or custody of their children. Others remain silent because they know that speaking out may bring social condemnation rather than justice.

We cannot continue celebrating women’s resilience while ignoring the circumstances that force them to be resilient in the first place.

There is also a responsibility on men to examine their own attitudes. Respect for women cannot remain limited to speeches on International Women’s Day or expressions of admiration for mothers and daughters. It must be reflected in everyday conduct.

…are all contributing to a more equitable society.

Religious leaders, educators, policymakers and community representatives also have an important role. Their words can either reinforce harmful stereotypes or help dismantle them. Public figures, in particular, should recognise the influence of their statements and exercise care when discussing women’s rights, illness and personal dignity.

Maryam Nawaz’s words about the invisible wounds women carry should not become another passing social media moment. They should encourage a deeper conversation about the emotional, social and economic pressures faced by women in Pakistan.

As Punjab’s first woman chief minister, she occupies a position from which concern for women’s dignity can also be translated into institutional change. Stronger protection against domestic violence and harassment, improved access to justice, equal educational and economic opportunities, and the effective enforcement of women’s legal rights are essential.

But laws alone cannot transform society. Real change must also take place in our homes, where children learn their earliest lessons about equality, respect and human dignity.

We must raise sons who understand that strength is not measured by authority over women, and daughters who know that their voices matter. We must stop teaching women that silence is always a virtue and begin recognising that speaking against injustice is an act of courage.

Her worth should not be measured by how often she sacrifices her own happiness for others. And her right to equality should not require approval from those who benefit from the existing imbalance of power.

The silent battles of women are not merely private struggles. They reflect a broader social failure to recognise women as equal individuals with rights, ambitions, emotions and identities of their own.

A society cannot truly progress while half its population continues fighting for the respect that should come naturally. Nor can we claim to honour women while dismissing their voices and overlooking their suffering.

The time has come to move beyond sympathy and towards genuine equality. Women do not need to be reminded endlessly of their strength. They need a society that does not force them to fight for their dignity every day.

More power to every woman fighting for equal rights, equal status, equal weight in decisions and equal dignity, both at home and in society. More power to those who speak out, those who challenge injustice and those who continue their struggles quietly, hoping for a better future.